We have a winner!

I am very pleased to announce that we have a winner for our "most ludicrous title for a sell-side research report" contest. No, this contest was never announced, publicized, or otherwise "run," but as the DeStocker is running the contest, the DeStocker gets to decide the rules of the game, right? 

The prize (a lifetime supply of this valuable medical innovation) is awarded to our friend Charlie Duncan of JMP Securities. I tried to find a picture on the internet of Charlie but there are lots of Charles Duncans. In fact, I liked another one better, so I have used his image instead.

Anyway, we give kudos to some other Charlie Duncan for his note on ALTH, 

"Early and Right on Another Emerging Leader in Hematology/Oncology."

Let's parse the key phrases in the title:

"Early and right"

Looking at the back of the report, there's a little chart showing the ratings history and target prices for ALTH in the hands of Dr. Duncan. Looks like he initiated with a buy rating in late 2007 at around $7 per share and a price target of $12. Last time I checked, this was a $7.50 stock. Also, I hasten to point out that just a few months before his initiation, the stock went from $4 to $7. Early and right?

"on Another Emerging leader...."

So here it seems that he is referring to some kind of pattern of victory in calling hematology/oncology stocks, based on his buy rating on Celgene. The body of the note compares the two companies in a kind of hematology/oncology bikini contest. 

I could be a jerk and list out a few of the other stocks that Duncan has gotten dead wrong in the past, but I will refrain because I am feeling kind today. Maybe he's some kind of savant with Heme/Onc and that's why he felt it necessary to remind us all of his prowess here. 

Hey, Charlie is a nice guy, but a little victory in the world of Heme/Onc is apparently a source of hubris. I hereby predict that ALTH is going to croak in some unimaginably weird fashion.